Our Young Man - Our Young Men - "Celebrating A Wonderful Human Being"
Today, I write about a wonderful young man I have known for 14 years. I write from a mother and from a father who are proud. Today, I tell you about a unique individual who currently contributes to my world, has contributed well to his protected elementary school world, and will soon contribute to your world in a much greater capacity. He is currently, one of 67,500 males in Ontario who is moving from childhood to adulthood over the next couple of years and along with a group of 135,000 youth in Ontario, celebrating the completion of grade 8.
In our family, completing a grade in school is not necessarily worthy of celebration. In fact, it's an expectation and achieving expected minimal standards is simply that. An expected outcome. To my husband and I, celebrations are worthy when the outcomes fall unexpectedly and wonderfully, beyond expectation and with humble and grounded awareness. Our children are aware of this, and so today, as my son graduates grade 8 with his peers, I wish to celebrate - not a diploma, but an individual who stands out to many in the quietest of ways.
The words of a proud parent can never be minimized, and there is no better way to raise and support our children than ensuring they know that not only are their efforts valued, but the person and intent behind those efforts are far more important. From an early age, investment and value in a child's kindness, developing empathetic perspective, respect for opinion, open mind and a willingness to problem solve are far more reaching than any certificate of memorized data that we will acquire walking across a stage. The investment in the real, raw, inner person that will contribute in ways to improve families, communities and society is the goal. Teaching our children that they have unique gifts, talents and viewpoints ensure solid foundations for productive lives. This is the celebration of today. These are the wonderful outcomes that are the truest achievements.
Today, our young man, at age 14, will speak to his graduating class about embracing change. This is his choice. He reflects minimally on the memories of the past years at elementary school and focuses on "moving forward". He amusingly uses the term "Get over it", in his five minute address and it makes me smile. His message is his own, with some structural guidance and ideas from teachers and us parents, but he stands firm with who he is, and knows how he is perceived by his peers. When I asked him why he was chosen for this role, he simply and with a puzzling demeanor, "I have friends but am not popular, I am not the best athlete, I am not the most outstanding student, but for some reason the graduating class and teachers respect me". As a parent, to hear your child say this, WOW! We were very "uninvolved" parents in the face of his schooling. We stood back, guided from behind and let him take the reins. We knew his potential, and knew our potential in meddling. We had already been a significant face of advocacy in the school system for his sister, but we knew when to pull back. I can't say I even know what his teachers look like, but I think I know their names.
Our young man did this. He owns this. Graduation belongs to him, alone. We couldn't be prouder.
And so today, we celebrate the boy he was, the young person he is, and his dreams for who he wishes to be. Today we celebrate our young man, a unique young man, as he merges with community with his interesting ideas, thoughts and contributions of his own. Today we celebrate the children we are bringing into our world, all of them and the developing qualities that we admire. Like all parents, in the simplest of terms, I would say our young man is indeed kind, smart, athletic, fun and amazingly cool. In the complexities of developing personalities, he is contemplative, investigative, curious and questioning. He is a listener, with sensitive connection to all that surrounds him. Just last evening, we walked at dusk down our country road and he noted the fireflies and imagined the timing of their luminescence to his whistling tune. On the weekend, the guilt of the cost of our family investment of a dress shirt and bow-tie for his graduation made him question the purchase by asking us to consider returning it and picking up a less expensive dress shirt at Value Village. He leans towards minimalism and understands the power of a dollar in a community. AND - he is still a 14 year old boy - who dreams of owning an Xbox and worked hard, saving for a full 2 years to purchase his own laptop. Just this morning, as we sat in the school parking lot before school, we watched the kindergarten children being escorted by parents and he observed and he commented on how nice it was to see the "big-tough" looking fathers, kissing and hugging their children in the school yard. I love that he sees THEM and sees with more than his eyes. AND - he is still a 14 year old boy - who wants to play video games, complains about his annoying sister, plays rep soccer, jokes about "boy stuff" and gets in true grumpy-teen moods!
This graduation day, I introduce you to our young man, knowing that soon he will be one of all of our "young men". He is one of thousands of wonderful young people from which to be proud, and if he reads this anytime, anywhere into the future, we want him to know how extremely proud we are. We wish for him to follow his dreams, we wish for him to be the very best version of himself and most of all, to hear his own message. Lucas, we wish for you to embrace change, dream big and love life!
CNK
