"Peace" of Thought

Her highness, the Willow,  need not adourn herself with the extravagance of fall, for she is confident waving farewell with her hues of green gold in the cool rains of autumn, before falling her limbs to the ground as she sleeps. CNK

Gitty, IT gathered the spirits that lingered, The souls that had withered Then dark it delivered. Fumbling without stumble, All solids to crumble Silenced voices that mumble. And warm sun made to shine As if all was just fine And IT sat down to dine. And Hope's spark fell cold with the full frost of Autumn  harvest. CNK

Escape Fly me to the seventh moon of the third planet in your minds most imaginative universal spectrum of colour. And there, you will witness brilliance. And there I will sing every single note. And there, we will wait for rescue that will arrive only 20 years after a peaceful and  simplistic existence together. They will discover us in colourful seas. Seas that turn and wave as most earthly existence could have never imagined. Dreams will escape you, but they will complete us. Reality will beg for an escape and madness will sweep me into its warm abyss. But, it doesn't matter. We will all be found someday. CNK

Let me out before dark Let me out. Let me out of this face race. Let me park. Let me out before slipping Let me out. Let me out, let me rest. See me dripping, See me try. Let me out, let me rise See me flying. See me crying. I'll be flying, Let me out. CNK

And in the end, she tamed her dragon, And together they soared the skies, Resting only on the roadsides lined With daisy lullabies.  CNK

Thrive This they said. This she tried. This she hoped. This she cried. CNK

Wait For You All paved roads must end but the dirt paths that then linger, leading through the sweet long grass, will be forever yours to explore. No one can stop you. The ground will give and plants will part for you because there is no life and no being that more respects the search. You, my love will also linger but for a few moments until the wilderness beckons with sounds of fluent freedom.  And in the furthest field, upon winding trails you will find me if you try, sitting with a seedling and watching the breeze blow the flight of insects across the stunning sky.  I will not speak, but our eyes will meet as our souls embrace all the wonders that were.  We will water the soils together with our tears and will remember moments that stole our breath.  And yet, you will return to the paved road for a period untold, until you follow the right end in your own time.  In your sunset hours, we again will be one and we will travel with all energy unknow...

Acceptable Who says, who decides On light smooth paths or heavy tides? The bearded man may choose our rides, Her feathers tread, her hammer hides. Who tells, who sustains While voices hush and looks disdain? The legal course avoiding pain, Her windows cracked allowing rain. Who sings, who creates Bent breezes topple grounds of slate? The musician bound by sorrows fate, Her choices served upon a plate. Who lifts, whose embrace Will lay your head on beds of lace? The companions of a weathered face, Her wealth inside a bolted case. Who wins, who comes first What changes made will not be cursed? The average man is not immersed, Her mind stores keys, but lips are pursed. CNK

Her Solid Come toward the foggy mess of trees, see sagging leaves, Keep straight along the blackened edge, then drive a wedge, Share your grays and speak of free that's found, and make a sound Tell stories of a solid state, and feel it's fate Your thoughts will say what other find, it's in your mind Stay with me through in blurry light, within my sight Let solid be your story told, though it's so cold The fluid in you runs so strong, in there belong Keep thoughts that cream the softened brow, beneath somehow Know solid is as solid does, I see what is, I see what was. CNK

The Altar And no wish could safely save her, Within the walls of chiseled stone, The masses of shameless soul search That appointed lives condone. And no love would wander closely, The iron spikes were painted black, However brilliant came the mindsets That sorrowed for attack. And no tear might dare to lift it, The salts and sands chimed twice with pace, Despite notes of seasoned ginger That delivered free of chase. And no warmth dared to deliver, It crept slow with echoing steps, Allowed presence at the altar That stolen poets pens had kept. And her lonely courage challenged, With white sunbeams upon her cheek, Flowing cotton over skin folds That found a single voice to speak. CNK

Get Up For God's sake, "Get Up" she shouted. But I cowered with silence, in the bends of my mind. "Grow Up" she hollered. "Real women don't feel doubted." But I covered my ears forcing my eyes to go blind. "Stop Crying", she grunted. "Tears mean you're weak" But I dabbed at my cheeks, five minutes behind. "Get used to this" she challenged. "Life steals at your peak." But I glanced out small windows and saw colors of kind. "Look pretty" she said, "cause that's all you'll get." But I pulled on my jeans, it was all I could find. "Stay quiet" she cautioned. Your mouth is in debt. But I gathered some notes and with voice they would bind. "Get Up" she kept coming. "Sleep is just dead." But I crawled on the limits seeing lights that had shined. "Get Up" she kept coming. "Get Up." And I did. Over again. ...

That extraordinary, vibrant and courageous woman you knew, was once admired by many. Several admirers in particular, often referred to as Connection, became the well to her deep rooted mind. Connection knew vaguely of her vulnerability, however found her radiant energy to be most inspiring and continued, on the smoothest of days, to be most intrigued.  Connection would look upon her, call on her, and often invited Love and Friendship to play. They would adore the woman's imperfections and regarded each with ridiculous amazement while pursuing intention to explore where she drew such unusual pleasantry. The deeper the exploration, the more intriguing the universe seemed through the eyes of Connection. A developing and extreme awareness grew of delicate pathways and darkness, resulting in an unforeseen introduction.  Upon that path, Connection met Protection.  They were distant cousins that were only superficially aware that the other existed and it was quite rare fo...

A Warm Current to Ride And the said paradox was not without an eternity to descriptive application.  No definition could either assign a contemplative light or a dissuading dark side with compelling fact or complete honesty.  The simplicity of the topic would likely have been noted in other realms, but this particular one held only baggage filled with an uncertainty that saddened the wildest and most creative minds.  For those who flew through days on waves of warm currents greeted by grey and white clouds were without hesitation and grew towards an end that was lit with fear filled belief that meaning would enlighten their soul.  And those who were powered by unfortunate and unwanted gifts of incomplete tangents of thought, were blessed with mountains that permitted glimpses of answers that teased with that very same uncertainty that quiets uncomplicated minds.  Light would be experienced by all who exist, although in a variance that would be deemed unf...

But Sharp Deeper than you dare Quieter than you care It's fringes you can't bare Electric like the chair Flowing like her hair The contents say beware Scarred from every tear Her mind is not quite there Like thumb tacks everywhere Fights through dark despair But sharp with room to spare CNK

Order is a relative He is a cousin to perfection He is a known friend of privilege to those with riches He closely coordinates their happiness He is a beastly avenger of chaos He serves to our every ideal He teases us with his promise of calm while dangling completion Order is a relative She is the sister of each cynics' eventuality She is a role model to our masses She is the coordinator of contentment She is a lioness and fighter of averages She lives to serve, direct and aspire She aims for a perfect execution that will arrive just on time Execution as it might even naturally occur, Despite interruption by the relative. CNK

The Edge of Vulnerability and Madness - Blog Part 2 - "UNEDITED WITH PURPOSE" Funny enough, I have had inquiry from readers looking for the inside of my mind as it relates to a previous post.  A few weeks back, I wrote about a three day excursion that embarked on a purposeful release of constraint, and allowed for random release of thought.  This was to take place over a long period (quite relative to my normal relaxation pattern), throughout a three day camping excursion. This was a most curious task.  An amazing experiment that I will do again.  In my previous post, I told about the freedom found in allowing a "flow of ideas" without having to guide, or push away the direction of thought based on outside expectation. This was more than creative writing. This was a flow of thought, unrelated and ideas that I would not revise to fit anything outside my own mind.  I impressed upon my readers to give it a try, allow the vulnerability that comes with it and en...

Today, I write about a wonderful young man I have known for 14 years.  I write from a mother and from a father who are proud. Today, I tell you about a unique individual who currently contributes to my world, has contributed well to his protected elementary school world, and will soon contribute to your world in a much greater capacity.  He is currently, one of 67,500 males in Ontario who is moving from childhood to adulthood over the next couple of years and along with a group of 135,000 youth in Ontario, celebrating the completion of grade 8. In our family, completing a grade in school is not necessarily worthy of celebration.  In fact, it's an expectation and achieving expected minimal standards is simply that. An expected outcome.  To my husband and I, celebrations are worthy when the outcomes fall unexpectedly and wonderfully, beyond expectation and with humble and grounded awareness.  Our children are aware of this, and so today, as my son graduates g...

CNK

The Illness WE Fear Most I've been ignoring this. I think about it, but I hardly ever talk about it. Do you? IT has scared me in the past and I have ducked, turned and walked the other way when I hear the term. IT has to be, in my mind anyway, one of the most difficult illnesses throughout all of society and the stigma attached to it, while mildly improved through some campaigning, is in all accounts... still largely untouched. As I am not an expert, and simply write from personal observation, I welcome your comments and ideas and opinions. Public commentary raises awareness, grows to education and lands in empathy. Don't run off now. Bare with this piece just for a minute. Be brave enough to embrace your personal assumptions. Let's learn something new today.  You're just reading this, no one can see! No one will judge you. Have a little courage to think a little deeper about something you are inclined to turn your head to. And to keep you from shifting...

Warning To Reader Please note:  For those who are cringing at the term "madness", please know I am using it as the Merriam definition part b) A behavior or thinking that is very foolish or dangerous: extreme folly - an idea that is pure/sheer madness  This in no way refers to the "mentally ill" reference for this piece of writing.  Prelude I have lived 45 years now on the edge of madness. And yes, we all do.  Your idol moments are likely madness you turn a blind eye to.  Fighting my natural inclinations I work hard to remain in the norm, every second of every day. I have fought all my life to ensure strict adherence to composure, to predictability, to organization and to expectation.  Like heavy marionette strings from which we dangle, we each continue and dance to pre recorded beats with intent to comply, express words to please, and we stay far away from anything that puts us at judgements risk.  ...

Knowing and Question - A Common Interaction Knowing crept up slowly behind without notice and asked "What comes next?"  Question responded eagerly, "You know this one, think about it".  Knowing waited a minute and asked once again, this time with an ounce of frustration.  Question responded "Do you need me to tell you, really?"  Knowing thought once again, this time for just a minute longer and yelled ever so loudly,  "Why won't you tell me?  I'm all Knowing, and I know you know the answers. I need you to help me."  Question listened, paused for a moment,  and then spoke quickly, "If you know everything Knowing, then why ask me?  Why ask Question?" Silence offered a period of reflection for both Knowing and Question. Finally, Knowing commented "You are right indeed Question. I AM all knowing. I knew. The answer is clear. What comes next is to Question so that I feel fulfil...

Collision at odds with marble and steel Quite telling of spaces that never seemed real Hides around corners and waits for the chance To capture her whole and in midst of sweet dance Revealing to all of Delicate's breeze That change in dark moments and bring down the trees And the leg-holds await her with every breath And still she delights not thinking of death Trapped in her highlight with purples and green She sings in each moment and can't be unseen Until one day they find her as her sun has gone down And her spirit again upon wet muddy ground Her crash comes on suddenly so forceful and clear And drags her back down and soaks her in fear And the collision continues and destruction takes all Of her candy and smashes into darks heavy wall. CNK

Upon contemplating my career goals, I was told by a lovely smart woman yesterday that I should watch what I say of FB, I should quietly express opinions only to close friends and I should be careful to question the accepted. I should be careful walking the edge. I should be careful being me. This is how one stays employable. Be part of the norm and stay silent. And dear folks, this herein lies a problem, the problem with so much in society. From illness to growth...only the chosen will speak. Happy Friday.  Never  think your questions are stupid. Never stop learning from others. Never think twice about exploring and sharing your opinions. Keep an open mind. Never stop expressing. Use your voice peeps!

Dedicated to my husband, my love, my very best friend. This - In heartfelt acknowledgement and appreciation of you. Her mind bled with colored collages His mind swept her floor with white rags Her mind carried her over deep oceans His mind paddled in search for her soul Her mind threw steel daggers at rainbows His mind pushed a cart to collect them Her mind swallowed lightning like candy His mind poured her pure waters to drink Her mind sang repetition and solitudes His mind spoke to her gently of family Her mind tugged at every loose drawstring His mind double tied them in bows Her mind crept along every high tightrope His mind tethered pretty cords to her waist Her mind cried over hours of darkness His mind touched her soul with his light. CNK

She flew for a full seven days with her soft slender arms at her side. She hummed a million melodies and the birds in the sky soon followed her enticing songs. She loved them with every breath. She mused at the magnificent sights and held wonder in all that she was able to feel. She challenged the mist and the rain and glistened on the tops of the whitest clouds waiting for sparkling sunbeams to play harps stings over her pale skin. She was as high as this present life could take her and she danced with that energy along peaceful ease, grateful poise and a brilliant small smile of her own. And though she knew the fantastic flight was but a term, she basked in its gifts and stored them deep into herself for she knew her feet would once again touch the ground. CNK

And when darkness fell, it crushed her, Pinched between death and the living. And when silence fell, it choked her, Between breath and a maddening scream. And when sorrow fell, it bound her To mattress and dampened pillows. And when absence fell, it cut her, Wounded with escaping red fear. And when morning came, it swallowed her, Forever missing from the cycle of need. CNK

And those that asked why were punished, And those that stood by were ignored, And those who would cry were belittled, And those who were too shy were sustained, And those who would lie were made leaders           ....then shaped to mock truths with delight. And those who would die were forgotten. CNK

Why write she asked? Because my stories are mine and I own them, I control them. I am a tamer of my own dragon and keeper of my messy garden.  My words are my seeds and I plant them in the richest soil. I watch them grow and enjoy how they compliment the other flowers. They are a gift to myself and nothing more. The intent is nothing more than greedy love of creation.  But I do fall in love with the thought that maybe one in a million might find something they can borrow to help them through their weeds,  and in that case I suppose, it is a gift to others as well. CNK

And here I sit With large black spiders in frenzy, exploring rock crevices And chasing shadows controlled by the noon hour sunlight. And life is the same - for every creature; Learning, collecting and simply passing the time All in search of evidence. CNK

Dear lonely yellow balloon Floating above the bay Where did your story begin And tonight where shall you stay? Dear lonely yellow balloon Your freedom floats and speaks With sweet release you're destined For the whitest clouded peaks Dear lonely yellow balloon The hands that held you bleed Your return is most unlikely Despite the young hearts plead Lonely yellow balloon May you rest wherever you land And with grace of all that is granted, Find another loving hand. CNK

Her Approach Clinging to fine entrance Her steady eyes remain. Craving time in prosperous muse And to approach her unnamed gain. Gentle, love, I'll care for you His aura lulls her thought Engraved upon by untamed dreams Her mind has been well taught. And yet without much practice, And without a single stage Her channeled dance becomes the lead To grace despite her age. Illuminated by soulful spirits Her auburn locks entrail And hover the crest found in between Her dress and skin so pale Near the time of fateful poise She shutters as she's drawn By every hope and all her fears But still she carries on. Then stopped by human forces, Her dance ends and prepares for fate. Innocence quietly interrupts As her approach to him now waits. She's shy, yet charm prevails As she attempts to tie his game For all she's ever longed to do Is simply ask his name. CNK

Verse takes many shapes over a lifetime and upon looking through my teenage children's packed-away artwork, I found this one story that I scribbled on a piece of paper soon after my son was born.  How amazing to discover this treasure that reminds me of such fun moments, inspired by young motherhood, storytelling and playful days. I remember reading this verse to my kids many times, likely inspired by the hundreds of children's stories which we read nightly, however now I recognize my verse has the same rhythm as our favorite Rupert Bear rhyme books that my father passed down from his own childhood.  Almost fifteen years later, unicorns represent many interpretation connecting an array of serious and laughable meanings.  Read this with folly and fun, with a storybook sense, the simple innocence of magic and imagination. Let it see your smile if just for a moment...